Horrific Z: Live in concert
by Amaxing
Summary: Request your favorite, most hated, or 'I can't get it out of my head' song and five Straw Hats will rip it apart and stitch it back together, creating a parodical abomination guaranteed to be slightly funny or your money back. Latest: Butterfly.
1. Pretty in Punk

Disclaimer: The characters from One Piece don't sing…. ere go, neither the songs nor the characters are mine. Is that how you spell ere go?

Horrific Z: Live in concert

Explanation: Well, some time ago I was writing while listening to Tenacious D (who I don't own) and I made up a really weird, yet somewhat funny fic involving one of their songs. (Those who want to see it, its called _Horrific Z,_ and it's under M.) Anyway it basically involved Sanji and Zoro having to rock for their lives. Yeah…. It doesn't make much sense to me either.

So anyway, now I keep have annoying ideas for song fics that won't go away. So, in order to ease my mind, I present to you the one, the only, HORRIFIC Z!!!!

WHO ARE HORRIFIC Z?

Sanji: Pot n' pan drums/backup vocals

"I'm only doing this to protest Yaois."

Usopp: Bass

"I guess I'm just talented at everything, huh?"

Yeah…. Keep telling yourself that Usopp.

Franky: Rhythm

"SUPER!" (Yup, that's it.)

Brook: Violin

"Get up and move your BODY! YO HO HO!"

Zoro" Lead vocals and…. saw?

"Don't ask; it's a _long_ story."

And there you have it, now on to the parodies!

Song One: Piratical in Punk

Parody of: Pretty in Punk, by Fallout Boy

(Saw solo)

(Dual saw/violin solos)

Zoro

_Climbing off that ship tonight_

_I know how you're feeling_

"_He's just another guy who's stuck on himself"_

_He wouldn't care if one killed you_

Zoro and Sanji

_I was horrified and would you mind if I_

_Asked you to join my crew awhile_

_So many pirates but I only saw you_

_You think I'm a demon, ah well_

_I've seen your captain and I don't think he treats you right_

_I'll make it my business, damn it_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

Zoro

_The only time he'd ever care about you_

_Is when he needs someone to scrape the gum off his shoe_

_Cleaning cabins and crap_

_How degrading is that?_

_You should resign_

Zoro and Sanji

_I was horrified and would you mind if I_

_Asked you to join my crew awhile_

_So many pirates but I only saw you_

_You think I'm a demon, ah well_

_I've seen your captain and I don't think he treats you right_

_I'll make it my business damn it_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

_I'm not as bad as you think I am, noOoOoOo_

(Repeats, gets faster)

End

Luffy: (Crying) It's so…. TRUE! (Blows nose)

Nami: I'm guessing that's what goes on in your mind all the dang time huh?

Luffy: (Nods)

Usopp: See? There's nothing the great captain Usopp cannot do!

Franky: But you were off half the time….

Usopp: uh…Improvisation! That's all it was, I was improvising within the song!

Chopper: REALLY? COOL!!!!

Usopp: (Famous lying smile and pose).

And that's all I've got for now. If you liked it, review! If you hated it, review anyway, but call it hate mail to make yourself feel better! But seriously, no really hateful things, just mildly hateful ones.


	2. I'm Gay

Disclaimer: I, Amaxing, in no way, shape, or form, own any thing, character, or idea from the series One Piece.

Nami: Lighten up will ya?

Sanji: Today, we'd like to address a concern that we have about certain things.

Zoro: It's come to our attention that there are certain groups of people…

Sanji: You _know_ who you are

Zoro: That believe that for some reason, we like the idea of…. well…

Sanji: Each other

Zoro: Well put. Anyway….

Cut Two: We're not gay

Parody of: _I'm gay_, by Bowling for Soup

(Drum taps)

Zoro

_This next song is _all_ protest._

(Crash in back)

_Ha ha ha ha! Sanji, that sounds like SHIT! _

_Well we all know about how a lot of fangirls like to fantasize about boys _

_S: So you write about us man-on-man, but in the end it just annoys _

_Z: And we all realize that you work your tails off and your following it just grows and grows _

_S: Girls like to make us queer these days, they like to make us get near these days_

Both

_I think that its clear that we both Fing hate each other_

_Don't turn us into homos_

_Even if you think it's wonderful_

_Don't even take us to half base, or make me get, too near his face because_

_Frankly all it does is make us have a bad day_

_And we feel that we need to say, girls_

_WERE NOT GAY!!!!  
_

Others: _NOT GAY!!!_

Both: _WERE NOT GAY!!!_

Others: _NOT GAY!!!_

Both: _WOOOOOO!_

Z:_ Lets start a protest, lets start it All: RIGHT NOW!_

Z: _And if you don't know where to staaart_

_I can show you, I'm your new team captain_

Luffy: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Z: Luffy, it's a figure of speech

L: Sorry…

Z: _put your left hand over your heart and REPEAT AFTER ME!_

_It's perfectly fine to write a non-yaoi fanfic._

S: _It's perfectly fine to write a non-yaoi fanfic._

Z: _Usopp, Franky, Brook_

All three: _Yeah buddy?_

Z:_ You guys, wanna join in?_

F: _SUPER!_

U: _Sorry…_

B: _YO HO HO!_

Z: _Oi… It's perfectly fine to write a non-yaoi fanfic_

All: _Its perfectly fine to write a non-yaoi fanfic_

Z: _Very nice. Very. Nice._

_Don't turn us into homos_

_All it does is make us miserable_

_Don't make us even reach half base, or make me get, too near his face because_

_Frankly, all it does is make us have a bad day_

_And we feel that we need to say, girls_

_WERE NOT GAY!!!_

Others: _NOT GAY!!!_

Both: _WERE NOT GAY!!!_

Others: _NOT GAY!!!_

Both: _WOOOOOOO!!!!_

_That's right all you fangirls_

_Put down your pens, cause Horrific Z is online_

_And we won't have to be fags anymore_

_We won't have to do slash anymore_

_We don't even care if you hook us up with the OLD Alvida!_

S: _Actually, I draw the line there…._

_Girls like to make us queer these days; they like to make us get near these days_

Both

_I think that it's clear that we both Fing hate each other…._

Ussop: _Guys, another ZoSan just popped up!_

All: _WHYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYY WHYYYYYYYY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?_

WHYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYY WHYYYYYYYY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

_WHYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYY? WHY WHY WHYYY WHYYYYYYYY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?_

And on…

And on…

And on…

End.

Robin: Amen to that.

Nami: Mhm.

Zoro: I mean seriously, how could anyone think I'm gay when I have a freaking girlfriend?

Robin: That's only in these fics, honey, in the manga you're still apparently a woman hating demon-man.

Zoro: I'm _still_ a demon-man who doesn't give women special treatment!

Robin: (Laughs) True enough.

Sanji: WHY DON'T _I_ HAVE A GIRLFRIEND IN THESE FICS?

Usopp: Because that wouldn't be funny, would it?

MOUTTON MALLET!!

Usopp: Ow….

As of now, we are taking requests! Send the name and artist of the song you'd like parodied, and if I can think up something decent, I'll put it in! R+R. Just felt like putting it again.


	3. Girlfriend

Amaxing: I own One Piece!

Lawyers (in Darth Vader voice) No Amaxing, you…DON'T own One Piece

Amaxing: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brook: Sanji has been bugging us to write a song about him for a while now.

Usopp: But every time we suggested one, someone had a problem.

Brook: For example, we tried to parody 'I'm too sexy' to please all the fan girls.

Zoro: Yeah, that just wasn't happening.

Usopp: So then we tried 'We can dance.'

Brook: Except…that doesn't apply….

Usopp: Finally, in our moment of despair, we received inspiration.

Brook: Not only does it fit, but it also makes him seem like an imbecile without him knowing it!

Zoro: He heh…. nice.

Sanji: THIS NEXT ONE GOES OUT TO ALL YOU GIRLS OUT THERE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! YOU COULD HAVE _SO_ MUCH BETTER! YOU COULD HAVE…._ ME._

Franky: Hey! I didn't get to say anything!

Cut Three: Boyfriend

Parody of: Girlfriend, by Avril Lavigne.

Requested by: strawberryalchemist

Sanji:  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
Hell no! Hell no!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you love me  
Hell no! Hell no!  
You know that I expect it  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend!

You're so fine  
I want you mine  
They're so delicious  
The things I'll bake you all the time  
You're so attractive  
Don't you know what I would do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I know you think I'm quite reckless

And Hell Yeah girl  
I'll treat you like a princess  
I can tell you want me too and you know I'm right 

He's like such a craphead  
And you don't want such a saphead  
I think we should get together now  
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
Hell no! Hell no!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you love me  
Hell no! Hell no!  
You know that I expect it  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend

Ever since you saw me I could tell you loved me  
And even though you think you can't, girl you can have me  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
So come over here, I'll tell you want you wanna hear  
That I could make your boyfriend disappear  
I don't want to hear you say his name ever again  
(But you can say 'that Black leg is sooo dreamy')

He's like such a craphead  
And you don't want such a saphead  
I think we should get together now

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! 

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
Hell no! Hell no!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you love me  
Hell no! Hell no!

You know that I expect it  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend

Gimme a second and I'll kick the heck out of him  
Cause I am, cause I am so much better  
There's no other  
Who'll cook you just about anything  
He's so stupid  
What the crap were you thinking?!

Gimme a second and I'll kick the heck out of him  
Cause I am, cause I am so much better  
There's no other  
Who'll cook you just about anything  
He's so stupid  
What the crap were you thinking?!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
Hell no! Hell no!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you love me  
Hell no! Hell no!  
You know that I expect it  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
Hell no! Hell no!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you love me  
Hell no! Hell no!  
You know that I expect it  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend!!

Sanji: (Bows) Thank you! I love you all! Good night!!

Franky: You didn't sing at all Zoro…

Zoro: I don't sing girl's songs…. I leave those to Sanji.

Sanji: Wait…that's a girl's song?

Ussop: Yeah… you didn't know?

Sanji: So wait…. If a girl is singing it…and she's saying 'I don't like your boyfriend….' (Perverted grin appears) Giggity goo!

All: SKYLER!!!!

Disclaimer: Where's your one place for all your Family Guy needs? Not here, that's for sure.

Nami: (Smacks Sanji) We can't afford a lawsuit you nimrod!

Sanji: Ow…Nami-san...

Brook: Please ladies do us all a favor. Don't listen to Sanji.

Sanji: (kicks Brook down): Don't listen to him! I know you want me ladies!

Luffy: If the ladies want you, I'm an idiot.

Robin: Mr. Captain that insult doesn't work.

Luffy: Why not?

Alright! I have to admit… listening to the song, for me, was _very_ painful, being a guy and all. Still, it grows on you after the 6th time… anyway, thus my one and only request is fulfilled! Hey, don't be shy! Request anything! Everything! I can take it!


	4. Shoot Down the Stars

Disclaimer: Random Prisoner 1: So, what are you in for?

Amaxing: Well, I said I owned One Piece, and well… I found out I didn't.

1: Ouch.

A: Yeah.

1: Idiot.

Sanji: Well, for our next requested song, we steer away from the 'pop' and 'punk' genres.

Brook: Even if some of you would say they fit elsewhere.

Sanji: Anyway, this next song is…well…yeah, it's a rap song.

Brook: Even if some…

Sanji: Shut up.

Brook: Fine.

Zoro: Anyway, Sanji and I tried it, and, frankly, we couldn't figure out how to sing it at all.

Franky: We thought, and this is probably a stereotype….

Zoro: More like IS a stereotype…

Franky. Whatever, anyway, we thought, being the darker colored of us all, that Usopp would be best for this.

Usopp: And…. they were wrong. I was worse than both of them combined.

Franky: And _that's_ saying something.

Sanji and Zoro: HEY!

Usopp: Anyway, thanks to my genius ingenuity, I was able to find someone from within the crew who was perfect! So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the one, the ONLY, RAPMASTER MD!!!!

(Chopper walks on stage)

Usopp: (whispered) Seriously, couldn't you think of a better name?

Chopper: Like you'd know.

Usopp: Ah, touché.

Cut Four: Straw Hat Legacy

Parody of: Shoot Down The Stars, by Gym Class Heroes

Requested by: Lexeaus

Chop…. em….'Rapmaster MD'

_I remember the day I left the Kingdom in a major way  
in one day, just to join a pirate __Almost been a year after the fact I've still gotta hustle  
Healing wounds for an aspiring pirate  
(Just like the others)_

_Never compromise our dreams or take a step back  
Been like that since the first chapter  
Turn discouragement to impetus  
So when you diss it's just food for the flowers to grow  
Captain's 16 plus outta East Blue, not smart  
Not too young to strive  
Keeping alive his hope_

_And the first mate's hate of loss was thought to be extinct, think again man  
Got fame for raiding Enies Lobby and taking back the friend we loved_

_And when she found that none was too big to hold us back  
She came back to the crew and 'gripped' us a carpenter_

_So take a step back  
And a breath in  
Let it out now  
Put your chin up  
You can do it tiger  
You a man now  
And for your dream you've got to do the best you can now_

All  
_We come around  
We build ourselves up with our achievement  
How headstrong we are  
So headstrong we are, and can't help to show it  
We'll shake up this town  
And take out the jerks that mar enjoyment  
So happy we are  
So happy we are, you can't not know it_

MD  
_Not what you thought you wanted right?  
How many nights you thought you'd work for a dummy?  
How many punishments endured for screwing up soup? (Sanji)  
How many people proved wrong by living on instead?  
(That's you Nami)  
But you knew you'd be brave, did you?  
Something producin' to the dreams your Pop left you (Ussop)  
Stay focused when everything screamed run out_

_Moving on with conviction, no room to pout_

_Sometimes you stubborn as shit, that's the D. in you  
You learn to be a man (or woman) by just being you  
(Just move forward man)  
_

All

Zoro: _Yet no one noticed_

Usopp: I'll be the first to admit it Chopper, that's not half bad.

Franky: Yeah! I bet the 4Kids opening for One Piece would be _way _better if you did it Chopper!

Chopper: Shut up you bastards! Complimenting me doesn't make me happy at all! (Smiles, does embarrassed dance.)

Luffy: He looks pretty happy to me…

And my other request is fulfilled. Yup. I don't actually listen to rap all that much, so I kind of had this playing the whole time while writing this. I have to say; it's not all that bad. Anyway. Read, review, request. I'm going to keep writing anyway, you might as well have a say in it, eh?


	5. Whispers in the Dark

Disclaimer:

Judge: Will the defendant please rise? Mr…. Amaxing? Is that your real name?

Amaxing: Yeah…. why?

J: No reason. Mr. Amaxing you are charged with copyright infringement, identity fraud, and the writing of terrible disclaimers. How do you plea?

A: I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE!!!!!!!!!

J: Fine, fine, don't go to pieces on us.

Zoro: Well, I have to say; not singing for the past two songs has done me some good. So, in keeping with this new tradition, today we have another guest singer!

Sanji: Wimp.

Zoro: Why I oughta…

Franky: Guys, cool it.

Sanji and Zoro: Whatever.

Usopp: Anyway, today our guest singer is none other than Konoha's Uzumaki Naruto!

Naruto: (Walks in) Hey everybody!

Brook: Tell us again… why are you here?

Naruto: Ero-Sensei took me down to the ocean to teach me how to defend against water-style techniques, and I decided to take a rest here! That blond guy makes good ramen!

Sanji: The greatest people in the world are blond. Believe it!

(Silence)

Naruto: Don't…. ever say that again.

Franky: So that's it? There's no like hidden back-story or sub-plot or anything?

Naruto: Nope! Just like any of my other fillers!

Brook: He's got a POINT there! YO HOHO!!

Usopp: Brook, that one didn't even make any sense.

Brook: Ah…yes…well I suppose it was a bit of a MIND boggler! YO HOHO!

Zoro: You walked into that one.

Usopp: However bad it may have been…

Naruto: OY! Let's get started already!

Zoro: Shut up! You don't have a say in this! We don't start un…

Cut 5: It won't be long

Parody of: Whispers in the dark, by Skillet

Requested by: Wait.What

Naruto:  
_Despite the bonds that you're breaking  
Your friendship won't be forsaken  
My goal is  
To take you  
__Back where your one true home is _

(Enter band)

_Despite the bonds that you're breaking  
Your friendship won't be forsaken  
My goal is  
To take you  
_

All:  
_No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes and all-consumes your heart  
Bring you back, it won't be long  
No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes you know I won't be far  
Bring you back, it won't be long_

Naruto:  
_You feel so lonely and ragged  
Your rage turns sharper and jagged  
My goal is  
Placating  
The anger that arises_

_I will be the one that's gonna find you  
I will be the one that's gonna guide you  
And I will  
Return you, bring you back hooome_

All:  
_No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes and all-consumes your heart  
Bring you back, it won't be long  
No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes you know I won't be far  
Bring you back, it won't be long_

_(Awesome saw/violin solo)_

_No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes and all-consumes your heart  
Bring you back, it won't be long  
No  
You don't have to be alone  
When darkness comes you know I won't be far  
Bring you back, it won't be long _

_No it won't be long_

_No it won't be long_

_No it won't be long_

_No it won't be loooong_

Nami: Wow…I think that's the only song we've done so far that's actually kind of sad…

Chopper: LUFFY! We need to end on something funny! (Whispers in Luffy's ear)

Luffy: OK! (Runs over to Naruto) Hey, Naruto, do you have an alibi?

Naruto: I gave you my reason for being here…

Luffy: Yeah, but do you have an alibi?

Naruto: Um….no?

Luffy: So what you're saying is….

Luffy and Chopper: YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI, YOU UGLY! M! YOUR MAJOR UGLY O! YOUR FAT AND PUGLY O MY GOD NO THE COW SAYS MOOOOOOO!

(Miles away in Konoha, at this very moment.)

Kakashi: Ha ha…moo.

Surprise! You thought we forgot didn't you? Nope, we just decided to save the rest of the disclaimers for the end! So lets see… I don't own Naruto, or Skillet, or Family Guy, or Naruto: The Abridged Series, or the UGLY song. Phew! Not surprisingly, Skyler refused to do the disclaimers for this part.


	6. Pinball Wizard

Disclaimer: Hi. My name is Amaxing. If you've been following my case recently, you can probably guess why I'm here. Yup, community service. Seems like copyright infringement is bad. So remember, don't lie or steal. But most importantly, always remember this. I don't own One Piece. Thank you.

……………………….

What do you mean the entire case was faked? I'll get you for that!

Zoro: Darn it!

Franky: What is it Zoro?

Zoro: I have to sing this time! I got so used to just sitting and playing my saw.

Franky: Shut up! At least you get to say stuff!

Sanji: What do you mean?

Franky: I mean seriously! Look back through the chapters! I swear, I haven't said more than 5 lines in any one given story!

Usopp: That's a problem? I would think you'd be glad that you aren't dragged into this fan fiction stuff. Have you seen some of the things that happen?

Brook: I believe that if we speak anymore on the subject, some of our viewers will be offended.

Usopp: I'm not saying anything in particular! Just in general, like all that yaoi and yuri stuff.

Sanji: What's wrong with yuri?!?!

Usopp: Sanji, your not _that_ much of a pervert are you?

Sanji: No, I suppose you're right.

Franky: Stop getting off topic here! I think we should complain to the writer about this!

Amaxing: No, you did not just break the fourth wall.

Brook: AGH! The writer! Run!

Sanji: Why? We haven't done anything, and, until they prove otherwise, he _is_ sane.

Amaxing: Absolutely right Sanji. Now as for you Franky, you'd better stop right there. But not because you did anything wrong. It's because I just thought up an AWESOME running gag!

Brook: What is it?

Amaxing: From now on, Franky only gets five lines of dialogue per chapter!!!

(Stunned faces)

Franky: THAT'S NOT FAIR!!

Amaxing: And that's your fifth line, later (Returns to real world).

Franky:(Opens mouth, but nothing comes out. Silent scream. Makes inappropriate gesture towards Amaxing.)

Sanji: That guy is _evil._

Zoro: At least he doesn't write yaoi.

Usopp: That's true, thank God for that.

Cut Six: Bottom less pit

Parody of: Pinball Wizard, by the Who

Requested by: hiken1no1aceFAN

Sanji:

_Ever since I was a young boy,_

_I've been a kitchen's slave  
From Orbit to Baratie  
Many dishes I have made  
But I ain't seen nothing like him  
In any restaurant's hall  
That rubber-banded dumb kid  
Sure makes a feast look small_

Zoro:  
_When it comes to liquor  
I clear out every hall  
Yet when it comes to banquets  
My stomach starts to fall  
But to appease_ his_ hunger  
Such an order is too tall  
That rubber-banded dumb kid  
Sure makes a feast look small_

Both:  
_He's a bottom less pit  
A stomach clad in steel_

_A bottom less pit  
Eats so much its unreal  
_  
Usopp: _How do you think he does it? _

Brook: _Does what?_  
Usopp: _How's he stay so thin?_

Zoro:  
_With uncanny exaction  
He follows a meals' smell  
Doesn't notice a reaction  
From the folks whose food he steals  
Always room for thirteenths  
Yet gains no weight at all  
That rubber-banded dumb kid  
Sure makes a feast look small_

Sanji:

_I thought I could  
Fully fill anyone's gut   
But I just can't seem  
To keep his hungry mouth shut_

Both:  
_At the dinner table  
Everyone stands ten feet back _

_We feed the others separately  
And lock him out, at that  
He's got mad food-gripping fingers  
And a jaw to crush it all  
That rubber-banded dumb kid  
Sure makes a feast look small!!!!_

Nami: They have a point, why _don't_ you gain any weight Luffy?

Luffy: Hee hee! You just have to follow my custom workout plan!

Nami: You have a workout plan?

Luffy: Yup! There's three basic steps. Ahem. 1: Fight evil villains that cause you to nearly die on a weekly basis. 2: Try to steal tangerines from Nami's grove and be kicked away by Sanji a million times. And 3: Run around the ship and annoy everyone at least five times a day!

(Silence)

Robin: He…actually thought all of that out?

Chopper: So _that's_ what it's called. It's not being annoying; it's keeping fit.

Robin: Whatever works I guess…

All right! Six songs, four of them requested! Now _that's _what I'm talking about! All this support makes me whip out these things SUPER quickly! (Franky couldn't say it, so I had to.)


	7. TwentyThree

Disclaimer: Amaxing's membership application to the 'I Own One Piece' club…has been denied.

Usopp: Most of our song parodies come from ideas that either Brook or me have.

Brook: Being the ones that have an EYE for the arts, that only seems natural! YO HOHO!

Usopp: Right…. Anyway, this next song, however, is a bit different… you see…

Sanji: IT WAS ZORO'S IDEA!!!!

Usopp: Yup.

Sanji: (In taunting voice) And _I_ think it's absolutely sweet of him. It shows he cares. It shows that deep down inside, he's actually… (Cut off by Zoro. How he was cut off will not be described.)

Zoro: (Sighs) I come to practice drunk once… and my entire reputation… is ruined.

Sanji: But it shows the _real_ you, right Franky?

Franky shrugs.

Sanji: Oh, I'm never letting this one go. Wait till Robin-Chan hears…

Zoro: Why? Why, why, why?

* * *

Cut 7: Twenty-nine.

Parody of: Twenty-three, by Yellowcard.

(Drum taps, music plays, there's actually a violin in this song.)

Usopp:

_I've oughta tell you that he never in his life_  
_Thought someone like you could come make him feel so right  
__I know he doesn't act civil most of the time  
__But it's a cover so you don't see what's inside._

Sanji and Usopp:

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_

(Drum roll)

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_

Zoro:

_You're almost twenty-nine and yet you still look fine_  
_So much I could say to you, but I think I'll hold it back, now  
__Twenty-nine, I can't believe you're mine  
__Sanji wants me dead for you but you know I don't give jack. Noo._

Usopp:  
_Was it hard for you to tell if he was hurt_  
_When all he knew was that our crew you did desert.  
__I swear to God I'm glad you came back in the end  
__But still I never thought that you'd be more than friends._

Usopp and Sanji:

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_

(Drum roll)

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_

Zoro:  
_You're almost twenty-nine and yet you still look fine_  
_So much I could say to you, but I think I'll hold it back, now  
__Twenty-nine, I can't believe you're mine  
__Sanji wants me dead for you but you know I don't give jack._

_Wasted on you  
__(Wasted on you)_

_Wasted on you  
__(So much time I've)_

_Wasted on you  
__(Wasted on you)_

_Wasted on you_

_Oh well!!!_

_Oh well!!!_

Zoro:  
_Twenty-nine and yet you still look fine_  
_So much I could say to you, but I think I'll hold it back, now  
__Twenty-nine, I can't believe you're mine  
__Sanji wants me dead for you but you know I don't give jack. Nooo._

(Violin solo!!! Yeah!!!)

Robin: (climbs on stage, crosses arms, stares at Zoro, amused). I have to say, I'm quite surprised.

Zoro: Yeah? So am I.

Sanji: (In taunting voice) He wrote the _whole_ thing Robin-Chan. _All_ of it. Isn't it so…

Robin: Sweet? Yes, I'd have to say it is. (Kisses Zoro). See you later, honey.

Sanji: (Stares, mouth agape).

Zoro: Well, what can I say? Some of us have it, some of us (points at Sanji) don't.

Sanji: That… didn't go like I planned at all.

Usopp: Hey Franky, how come you haven't said anything yet?

Franky: Well, if you must know, I'm saving up my lines so I can say more in later chapters. Thanks to you, I only have nine now.

Amaxing: Are you kidding me? You don't get Rollover do I _look_ like Cingular?

Brook: I think that's AT+T now actually.

Franky: Why you! Evil…. Freaking…. writer!!!

Amaxing: Get 'em in while you can man.

Franky: YOUR FAN FICS SUCK!!!!

(Silence)

Amaxing: All right, back in New York it might have had to mean something. But we're both adults, I'm willing to let it go.

Franky: AND YOUR MOM IS….

Amaxing: Four lines a chapter. Deal with it.

Franky: (Opens mouth, nothing comes out. Again. Makes inappropriate gesture. Again.)

Mhm that should do. And always remember kids; be afraid of the writer. Be _very_ afraid of the writer.


	8. Soul Man

Disclaimer: I am at one with myself. I am at peace. And yet, I still do not own One Piece. The mysteries of the universe astound us all.

Sanji: He's late.

Brook: I wouldn't say 'late', I'd say more like 'mistook some random guy with a big sword for Hawkeye and now can't find his way back to… to…' Wait a minute… WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?

Usopp: Well that's easy! We're in…. in… Nami!

Sanji: You did **not** just…

Nami: I think he was asking me where we are you pervert.

Sanji: Of course, Miss Nami.

Nami: Let's see… according to the map of the Grand Line…we're in… (looks up, smacks head) we're on Namikaze island, known to the locals as 'Nami'…

Usopp: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!! But NOO, I'm a comic relief character! I could never have a revelation that could actually move the plot along!

Sanji: So I take it you leaving the ship wasn't a plot event?

Usopp: Ah, touché.

…………

Brook: He's still not here…

Usopp: Well, we have to do _something._

Frank's face lights up, he whispers something that doesn't count as a line into Usopp's ear.

Usopp: Can we do that under the four-line limit?

Franky nods.

Usopp: ALL RIGHT MEN, LET'S DO IT!!!

Usopp and Franky run off stage.

(Guitar begins to play. MeedLEE MeedLEEmeedleeMEE MeedLEEE Meed LEE meed LEE)

(Instruments begin to play; Usopp power slides onto stage wearing black suit, top hat, and shades.)

* * *

Cut Eight: Bold Man  
Parody of: Soul Man, by the Blues Brothers.

Usopp:  
_Comin' to ya; off that ocean road  
Pessimism; I got a boat load _[Franky back flips onto stage, wearing same suit_  
You get hung up, I'll tell you something  
Don't worry; cause I'm coming_

_I'm a bold man  
I'm a bold man  
Bold man  
I'm a bold man_

_Got my guts; hardened the hard way _[Franky dances, John Belushi style_  
Get a little braver; each and every day  
So bet money; that I won't fret  
Cause you ain't seen; nothing yet_

Usopp and Franky:  
_I'm a bold man  
I'm a bold man  
Bold man  
I'm a bold man_

_It's true  
I was taught; to run away and hide _[Again with the dancing John Belushi style_  
But I found courage; hiding way inside  
One thousand hits; for One thousand shots  
Sink every ship; every chance I got_

Usopp and Franky:  
_I'm a bold man  
I'm a bold man  
Bold man  
I'm a bold man_

_Well get on board; cause we're moving in  
Give you hope; and I can be your captain.  
__Usopp: Yeah  
Luffy: NO!  
Usopp: Yeah  
Luffy: NO!_

[Guitar solo, Franky and Usopp tango across stage. Usopp whips out harmonica

Usopp and Franky [While doing synchronized dance steps  
_Bold man  
I'm a bold man  
Bold man  
I'm a bold man  
Bold man  
I'm a bold man_

[Music stops, awesome musical ending, Franky dances wildly until music stops.

Usopp: Thank you! Good night!

Luffy: USOPP! YOU CANNOT BE CAPTAIN!!!

Usopp: Calm down, its only a song.

Luffy: THE 4KIDS OPENING IS ALSO 'ONLY A SONG!!'

Brook: Ouch.

Sanji: Buuuurn.

Chopper: Franky! You only used three lines!

Robin: Yes Mr. Carpenter, we hear so little of you.

Franky: Well, I'd just like to say…

Zoro: Sorry I'm late, guys! But with the guy with narrow eye-slits and the sword and the not having any sense of direction…

Franky screams a silent scream, bangs head on ground.

Zoro: You should probably have Chopper check that out man.

Franky screams a silent battle cry. His hands close around Zoro's throat.

Zoro: AGH! What the… get off!

Chopper: AGH! DOCTOR! IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THE ISLAND?? Oh wait I am a doctor. (Dances awkward embarrassed dance).

Yup. Part 8 of the Horrific Z project. For those of you worried that I'm spending too much time writing this story (I doubt that's many of you) this took about… ten minutes. Including the five-minute drink break. And the half-minute 'Ooh, Wasabi nuts' break. Mhm. Request line is still open, let them rain down like…. like…. well, rain.


	9. Underclass Hero

Brook: Juuuuust sit right back, and you'll hear a song,  
A song for you from me  
That started from a young boy's whim  
To write a parody  
To write a parody

Usopp: What…are you doing?

Brook: I figure we've been doing this long enough we need a theme song!

Usopp: Hmm… fine with me, but that was terrible.

Brook: I guess we all SEE things a bit differently! YO HOHO!

Sanji: I've got an idea!!!

Zoro: Oh joy, this ought to be good. [Rolls eyes.

Sanji: All right, this'll be the number one jam on _all_ the stations!

_Gathering together…. All our dreams…  
__We'll find the things that we're looking for…_

Zoro: WHAT THE… Hey Amaxing, will you cut to the disclaimer for a minute?

Disclaimer: A random disclaimer saying that Amaxing does not own One Piece (Or Gilligan's island) is inserted here while sounds come from the stage that suggest Zoro is beating Sanji to a pulp.

Zoro: You were saying Sanji?

Sanji: (groaning) Nothing…

Brook: It's not _that_ bad, is it?

Zoro: Maybe not, but there's copyright infringement to consider.

Brook: Yes, you've certainly got a good HEAD on your SHOULDERS! YO HOHO!

Luffy: OOH! OOH! I've got an idea!

Nami: This ought to be good…

Luffy whispers idea in Zoro's ear.

Zoro: (Stunned) That's not bad actually…

* * *

Cut Nine: The Horrific Z theme song?  
Parody of: Underclass Hero, by Sum 41  
Requested by: Wait.What

Usopp: _1, 2, 3, 5!_

Zoro:

And now I believe (There's a war that's starting)  
Stand on our own (Know what you've got to be)  
Living our youth (Being young and ambitious)  
Speak for yourself (Don't try to change me)

Brook:  
_(Yo ho, A pirate's life for me)  
_Zoro:  
_Try to take down what we've built up  
__I guarantee, you'll be out of luck  
We're the vanguards of freedom  
__That we can agree on  
__How can you try to rise against?_

Zoro and Sanji:_  
Well because we're living free  
And we don't need to be told  
That we're living free  
So you'd best give up the ghost  
'Cause we won't take any crap from you  
'Cause we're living free  
And we will not be controlled  
By the likes of you  
_

Usopp:

1, 2, 3, 5!

Zoro and Sanji:_  
Well because we're living free  
And we don't need to be told  
That we're living free  
So you'd best give up the ghost  
'Cause we won't take any crap from you  
'Cause we're living free  
And we will not be controlled  
By the likes of you!_

"Alright!" said Franky. "We've got a theme song, huzzah!"

Zoro: What's with the weird talking style.

Franky laughed. "I figure out how to beat the four lines a chapter rule!" he exclaimed. "They only count towards the total if they're dialogue!"

Usopp: Really?

"Yup! Now I can say as much as I want as long as I narrate it in third person." Franky replied.

Brook: That'll get annoying _really_ quickly.

Franky: True enough, but now I can contribute.

Sanji: Franky…

Franky gasped. "Oops!" he said. "Ah well, at least I get three more."

Zoro: So, is that the theme song… or what?

Robin: Why don't we put it up to a vote?

Chopper: Yeah! Let's have the viewers decide!

Zoro: Right… so… if you think that this should be the 'Horrific Z theme song' or whatever, say so.

Sanji: And if not…

Robin: Request something else!

Chopper: Thanks for listening! Or… reading! Whichever…


	10. ATWA

Luffy: Well Hi everybody! Welcome to the special Tenniversary edition of Horrific Z live!

Chopper: In honor of such a momentous occasion, we're going to offer up a contest.

Robin: Mhm, we're calling it the 'Good God, Amaxing is the most conceited author on this site' contest.

Nami: No, seriously, that's what it's called.

Chopper: What's the contest about? Simple! Design a band from your favorite anime/movie/TV show/book/whatever and send it in!

Nami: The winner will be featured on a special edition chapter of Horrific Z Live. Not a very good prize, but the writer thinks people would die for the opportunity.

Robin: Hence, the name of the contest.

Amaxing: Now for the rules.

1: No solo artists. Try to have at least three people in the band.

2: Any fan matter may be used except ones prohibited by the site… and the bible. Yeah, some things should just stay sacred…

3: Crossovers and Aus _are_ allowed. However, try to refrain from putting yourself in the band. I'm not going to go out and _prohibit_ it but… anyway, moving on.

4: Please keep the name tasteful.

Other than that, go nuts. Drop your ideas in the comment box.

Skyler: And now for something completely different.

Disclaimer: KAWIETA UN CAVIER AND I DO…. NOT OOOOWN ONE PIEEEECE!

Sanji: So… anything new?

(Wind whistling through studio, crickets chirp)

Usopp: Yeah… no.

Brook: This is the tenth chapter… we could have a flashback.

Zoro: To what? Have we done anything that resembles a plot whatsoever?

"Well we've certainly broken the fourth wall a lot," commented Franky "as evidenced by the way I have to talk."

(Prolonged Silence)

Sanji: You guys ever noticed how many tiles are on the ceiling?

Usopp: Six thousand thirty-four.

Sanji: You've counted?

Usopp: Yeah, I was bored during one of the practices… so.

Zoro: That explains why you're always 'improvising'.

Usopp: Shut up, Marimo.

(Stunned silence)

Brook: Did he just…

"Oh my God, I think he did," said Franky, stunned.

Sanji: WAY TO GO USOPP!

Zoro: You'd better watch it.

Usopp: Who?

Zoro: Who do you think?

Usopp: Well… Sanji…

Zoro: Exactly.

Sanji: Oh, so he can insult you and get away with it, huh?

Zoro: Well you see I _respect_ Usopp…

Brook: Ouch.

Franky: Buuuurn.

Sanji: WHY YOU…

Cut Ten: GTFA (Get the f away)

Sanji: HEY! I wasn't done!

Parody of: ATWA, by System of a Down

Requested by: hiken1no1aceFAN

Zoro:

_Hey you, I see, you are, crazy,  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,  
I've got, no more, so get, away,  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,_

I don't care how much I owe,

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more_

_I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more_

_  
Get off, of it; you're such, a witch [Sanji: NAMI-SAN IS NOT A WITCH-WOMAN!  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,_

_Silent your voice, then I'll rejoice,  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,_

I don't care how much I owe,

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more_

_I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't have, anymore,  
I don't care, anymore,  
I won't hear, anymore,  
I'll just live._

Hey you, I see, you are, crazy,  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,  
I've got, no more, so get, away,  
All the money that I earn goes passing by,

I don't care how much I owe,

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more  
I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more_

_I don't care how much I owe,_

_I won't pay off any more  
I won't listen, anymore,  
I won't stand (for it), anymore,  
I'll won't pay, anymore,  
I'll just live._

Nami: Nice song guys! (Smacks Zoro on the head) but this doesn't change anything.

Zoro: Weren't you listening to the lyrics at all?

Nami: Screw the lyrics you owe me money!!!!!

(Somewhere in the town of Domino, at this moment)

Seto: Hey Mokuba?

Mokuba: Yeah big brother?

Seto: Do you ever get the strangest feeling that a parody of you is being parodied?

Mokuba: Can't say I do, I'm not important enough to be made fun of, remember?

Seto: Yeah, good point.

Mokuba: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO AGREE!!!

Further Disclaimers: I do not own Yugioh or its abridged series.


	11. Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

We now present the eleventh installment of the epic tale of Horrific Z.

_We're living free  
And we don't need to be told  
That we're living free  
So you'd best give up the ghost  
'Cause we won't take any crap from you  
'Cause we're living free  
And we will not be controlled  
By the likes of you _

(Ridiculously awesome guitar run)_  
_

Sanji: Hey guys, I wrote a parody!"

Zoro: YOU wrote one?

Usopp: This I got to hear.

Brook: I'll prepare my poor STOMACH!!! YO HOHO!

"Well, go on." Said Franky.

Sanji: ALL RIGHT!

Parody of: Trogdor, by Strong Bad.

Sanji:

ARLONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

_ARLONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Arlong was a man_

_Well, actually, he was a shark-man_

_Well, actually, he was… just an asshole_

_But he was still ARLONG!!!!_

_ARLONG!!!!_

_Decimating the villages_

_Decimating the seaside_

_Decimating all the peoples_

_In the East Blue ISLANDS!!!!!_

_EAST BLUE ISLANDS!!!!!!_

_And the Arlong lives for the FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!_

Sanji: What do you think?

Zoro: No…. no, we're definitely not putting that in the story.

Brook: Yeah, I mean some things are just sacred.

Franky: You should be ASHAMED of yourself man.

Sanji: Oh…

Robin: We now return to our originally scheduled fanfic.

Disclaimer: You remind me of the man. _What man?_ Yeah the man with the problem. _What problem?_ Yeah, the not owning One Piece. _Who don't_ Awww, he don't he don't. _Amaxing. _(Don't own Trogdor either)

ACTUAL STORY BEGINS HERE

Usopp: See guys! Ten chapters of practice have finally paid off!

Zoro: Wow, we're getting paid three hundred berries to play in some middle-aged dude's basement. I feel _really_ successful right now.

Usopp: (oblivious) That's the spirit Zoro!

Sanji: Since we _are_ getting paid for this though, I think we should play the one that crapshooter never messes up.

Usopp: IMPROV! IT'S CALLED IMPROV!!

Brook: I have to agree with Sanji, he certainly has his HEAD on straight! YO HOHO!

"Let's start before they start throwing stuff at us guys" said Franky hurriedly.

Sanji: Why? We're running low on tomatoes…

Cut eleven: Sizzle Sizzle Bake and Burn

Parody of: Shimmy Shimmy Quarter turn, by Hellogoodbye

Sanji:

_The beef Wellington that I made  
Not as nice as your flambé  
All the poultry that I smoked  
Not as good as your chicken roast_

_Your food scraped across the ground  
Next to mine it looks profound  
Every batch of my gourmet stew  
Could never compare to you  
_

_Persistent as a babbling brook_

_I'm searching through all my cookbooks  
Got to find out all the things  
Find out how you make your wings  
Sizzle sizzle bake and burn  
Feels like I will never learn  
How can I run you in the ground  
When I'm too busy getting down_

Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one

_Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one_

_  
Swear I'm not an eggplant  
I'm just looking to recant  
Your claim I'll never beat you  
It's just so hard to do  
Steaks that simply fall apart  
Food not fit for the faint of heart_

_Sweets that bring you to your knees_

_And make the girls cry 'Sanji, Please!'  
Swear I'm not an eggplant  
I hope this don't sound like a rant  
It's just that all my life I've yearned  
One day you'll come to me to learn  
Steaks that simply fall apart  
Seafood that'll top the chart  
Of ladies I'll have my pick  
When my food has extra kick_

Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one

_Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one_

_Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one_

Gotta get right back to  
Make my plan to out cook you  
Strength and dedication  
Take it back to square one

Zoro: You know… you think you could have rhymed 'Chef' and 'Zeff' in there at some point.

Sanji: Don't blame me… blame the writer.

Brook: Like I was supposed to know what his name was! You come up to me and say "Hey Brook, could you write a song about my LIFElong desire to out cook my mentor and you expect me to play it perfectly by EAR? YO HOHO!

Client: AWESOME! AMAXING!! You guys ROCK!!

Usopp: Yeah, I know I do, what can I say?

Client: Here you go guys! All three hundred, it was worth it!

Zoro is handed his share.

Nami: I'll take that.

Zoro: Can't I have _any_ money?

Nami: Do you even have to ask?

Zoro: Witch-woman…

Sanji: NAMI-SAN IS NOT

And so the first gig was a huge success. Kind of.


	12. Take me out

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! BACK BY POPULAR NEGLIGENCE, IT'S THE ONE, THE ONLY, HORRIFIIIIIIIIIIC ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

(Amaxing don't own One Piece, yo)

Cut twelve: In one piece

Parody of: Take me out, by Franz Ferdinand

Zoro:

You think you're stronger  
Just wait 'till we're wailing on you  
I'm just a demon  
When I'm a sword away from you  
And if we fight here  
I'll leave you broken, shattered, and I,   
I'm just a demon  
Mess with my friends, then you will die

All: (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)

Zoro: I know you won't be leaving here in one piece. 

(Audience cheers, TEMPO CHANGE)

I say… stay away  
From them, or you'll pay  
I say... I'll take you out

I say move on your way  
It's just not your day  
I say... I'll take you out

You say I should die  
Don't make me make you cry  
I say... I'll take you out

Stay back, or you'll die

You'll lose, that's no lie  
I'll get you… I'll take you out

I know you won't be leaving here (one piece)  
I know you won't be leaving here (one piece)

I know you won't be leaving here

I know you won't be leaving here… in one piece.

I say… stay away  
From them, or you'll pay  
I say... I'll take you out

You say I should die  
Don't make me make you cry  
I say... I'll take you out

Go on, your just a fly  
Swat you, If you try

Go on.………..

I'll take you out

I know you won't be leaving here (one piece)  
I know you won't be leaving here (one piece)

I know you won't be leaving here

I know you won't be leaving here… in one piece.

Audience cheers, woohoo!!!

Sanji: THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT!!

"Wow" said Franky "They've been really packing the seats ever since FUNimation changed our voices!"

Usopp: I know! It's like I'm a new man!

Brook: Or a new WOMAN in your case. YO HOHO!!

(Everyone stares)

Zoro: Y'know, that one was actually funny.

Sanji: It's a miracle.

And now for an important announcement.

(Corny public service announcement music begins)

Chopper: Hello everyone. Today we'd like to address a disease that's running rampant throughout fanfiction sites the world over.

Robin: We call it "Review Apathy Syndrome"

Nami: Subject suffering from R.A.S. often experience no compulsion whatsoever to review a fic, even if it is absolutely lousy or really good.

Luffy: You see, It works like this. No reviews means no money. No money means no chalupas. No chalupas means no inspiration, and no inspiration means no awesome fan fics.

Robin: Or really bad fan fics, depending on your point of view.

Amaxing: I HEARD THAT!

Chopper: Luckily, the easiest way to relieve R.A.S. is to simply write a review. Go ahead, we don't mind if you use us to heal yourselves.

Nami: We'll all feel better in the end.

(Corny music ends)

Robin: Alright, we did it, happy now you crybaby?

Amaxing: Yes. Yes, actually, I am.


	13. Happy Together

Disclaimer:

Host: Ladies and gentlemen! Back after some odd months of obscurity, it's the one, the only, I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE SHOW!!!!

(Keyboard intro music plays)

And to start us out on the 'I don't own One Piece' show is AFFI's very own disclaimer writer, SKYLER!!!!

(Skyler enters; fan girls go crazy)

So tell me Sky, what was it that made you want to write disclaimers for a living.

Skyler: Well, all I can say is… I was born to do it.

(Crowd awes)

Skyler: No, I'm serious, the only reason I exist is to write disclaimers. I don't do anything else really. Heck, I don't even have a last name.

(Crowd gasps, fan girls cry, one screams 'YOU CAN TAKE MY LAST NAME WHEN WE GET MARRIED!!')

Skyler: Umm… thank you?

Host: That… is the saddest thing… I've ever heard (sobs). Don't you _mind_ that Amaxing never gave you a last name?

Skyler: Well…no..

Host: OF COURSE YOU DO! AND EVERYBODY… I have a complaint as well. My only name is…..is….'host!'

(Crowd gasps; cries of outrage are heard; activists begin to scream DOWN WITH AMAXING!!! and THIS FAN FIC JUMPED THE SHARK IN CHAPTER ONE!!!)

Skyler: No really, you don't have to…

Host: I SAY WE OVERTHROW THE TYRANT! THE MAN BELIEVE THAT JUST BECAUSE HE GAVE US LIFE, THAT HE CAN TEL US WHO WE ARE!!! I'VE HAD IT!!! I DEMAND THAT SKYLER BE GIVEN A LAST NAME!!!

Amaxing: Do you know the Japanese word for fingernail?

Host: (Does double-take) WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???

Amaxing: Ummm…. Writer?

Host: Oh… right… and no, I don't know what the Japanese word for 'fingernail is'

Amaxing: Well neither do I, but if I ever find out, that's his last name.

Skyler: Umm…thank you?…. again?

Amaxing: Don't mention it, later Sky.

Host: WAIT! DON'T _I_ GET A NAME??

Amaxing: Huh? Um… you're…. Zuko…..Zuko.

Host: Zuko Zuko?

Amaxing: Yeah. Think of yourself as a cross between that guy from Avatar and John Travolta.

ZZ: Oh…. That's… actually kind of cool really.

Amaxing: Damn straight. Later. (Stops daydreaming)

ZZ: What do you think Skyler? Is Zuko Zuko a good name?

Skyler: Sure man, ZZ is "tops"

WAH WAH WAAAAAAAH

Luffy: Um… guys? Can we start the fan fic now?

Skyler: But I'm _trying_ to win the world's longest disclaimer contest!!!!

Robin: You've written more than two sentences…. That should be enough.

Sanji: I have something _very important_ to say, so you'd _better_ not cut me off. Ready? (Takes breath)

_We're living free  
And we don't need to be told  
That we're living free  
So you'd best give up the ghost  
'Cause we won't take any crap from you  
'Cause we're living free  
And we will not be controlled  
By the likes of you _

(Awesome guitar run)

Sanji: WHAT DID I JUST SAY????

Cut Thirteen: No more Yaois

Parody of: Happy Together, by The Turtles

Requested by: adriana.a.n

_Zoro: Imagine me and you._

_Sanji: I do_

_Zoro: It scares me every day and night_

_Sanji: It's just not right_

_Zoro: For girls to think that we're in love_

_Sanji: And that we might_

_Both: Be happy together_

_Zoro:  
__If I should have to spend  
A length of time  
Alone with you I have to say  
I'd rather die_

_Sanji: That's fine because I feel the same  
I think that I'd  
Rather cut my legs off_

_Zoro: (That doesn't rhyme with 'together')_

_Sanji: (Shut up and sing the chorus!)_

_Zoro: (Fine)_

_Both:  
I can't find anyone that I could hate more  
You plague my life  
When I'm with you  
I just can't help but feel sore  
You plague my life _

_Zoro: Me and you_

_Sanji And you and me_

_Zoro: No matter how they angle it_

_Sanji: It has to be_

_Zoro: The most disgusting thing I've seen_

_Sanji: It's plain to see_

_Both: We're not happy together_

_Both:  
'Cause I can't find anyone that I could hate more  
You plague my life  
When I'm with you  
I just can't help but feel sore  
You plague my life_

_Zoro: You and I_

_Sanji: It makes me cry_

_Zoro: To think that someone likes to see_

_Sanji: Us side by side_

_Zoro: It makes me nauseous to believe_

_Sanji: That you and I_

_Both: Could be happy together_

_Zoro: I think our point's been made_

_Sanji: It's been displayed_

_Zoro: We'll end by saying we resent_

_Sanji: Our being played_

_Zoro: As objects of your fantasies_

_Sanji: You couldn't pay_

_Both: Us to be happy together  
We're not happy together  
I like that sweater  
It looks like it's leather __  
We're stuck here forever  
Unhappy together_

Nami: Way to be original guys. You've already written a song protesting Yaois.

Zoro: Well, yeah, but they're still popping up!!!

Sanji: All those disturbing stories…

Zoro: Crawling onto the site…

Sanji: Day after day after day….

Zoro: It's just….

Sanji: REVOLTING!!

Zoro: SICKENING!!!

Both: And just wrong.

Nami: You guys _do_ realize that you just completed each other's sentences right?

Both: AGH! I'M TURNING INTO HIM!!! (Both run off in terror)

Usopp: And I thought nothing scared them….

Chopper (Laughing): Everyone has their breaking point I guess…

"I'm inserting a random line of dialogue so I can be in the story!!!" said Franky.

Brook: Huh? You expect me to make a joke surrounding a part of the human body? Screw it; I've given up on these people.

Chopper: That's good Brook, now you won't be the BUTT end of any insulting jokes!! YO HOHO!!!

(All stare)

Chopper (shocked at what he, himself, has just said): Oh. My. God. I need to go lie down.

Robin: Well everybody, that about wraps things up. Remember, steer clear of bodily humor, don't support Yaois, and always, always review Amaxing.

Amaxing: No I didn't pay her to say that, don't look at me that way.


	14. Cartoon Heroes

Setting: The first official Horrific Z concert. About one-thousand people file into the concert hall, more out of curiosity than actually wanting to hear what they have to offer. There are of course, a few raving fan girls, but for some reason…

Sanji: WHY THE HECK ARE ALL THE FAN GIRLS SCREAMING USOPP'S NAME??

Usopp (strikes famous pose): I can't help it; I'm just that popular.

_We're living free  
And we don't need to be told  
That we're living free  
So you'd best give up the ghost  
'Cause we won't take any crap from you  
'Cause we're living free  
And we will not be controlled  
By the likes of you  
_(Amaxing guitar run)

Zuko Zuko: Hello everyone! I present to you the terrible, the awful, the HORRIFIC Z!!

(Usopp fan girls go wild)

Sanji: I'M SANJI!!!

Zoro: I'M ZORO!!

"I'M FRANKY!!" screamed Franky exuberantly.

Brook: I'M BROOK!!!

Usopp: I'm USOPP!!! (Fan girls scream)

And I'm Gaara…. OF THE FUNK!!!! (GAARA OF THE FUNK!!!)

Zoro: What the…. SKYLER!!!

Disclaimer: Amaxing does not own Naruto the Abridged series and apologizes for using one of its characters in one of his own fan fics. Oh yeah, and he doesn't own One Piece either)

Sanji: What the crap are you doing here?

Brook: Yeah! You've got your own series that's _way_ more popular than this one!

Gaara: This fan fic sucks… so I'm taking it over… and turning it… into an ADVICE COLUMN.

(Gasp)

"Dude, that's just evil… and it's so _not super_," said Franky, somewhat pleadingly.

Gaara: Right. Like I care what you think, robo-freak.

Franky: WHY I OUGHTA…

Usopp: NO FRANKY! There's only one way to handle this!

Sanji: What the crap… you're… brave?

Zoro: That's a first.

Usopp: Shut up and play this parody. (Hands music to band)

Brook: Wow… you're seriously not going to…

Cut Fourteen: Manga heroes

Parody of: Cartoon Heroes, by Aqua.

Zoro: Wait, don't we need a girl to sing this song?

"Nah, we'll just get Sanji to do it." Said Franky, matter-of-factly.

Sanji: WHAT??

Brook: Well your singing voice _is _freakishly high.

Sanji: It's not my fault I sound like the guy from Fall Out Boy.

Nami: Oh, I'll do it you wuss.

Sanji: Thank you miss Nami.

Gaara: Are we going to start or what?

Usopp: FINE! ARE YOU READY? HERE WE GO!!!

(Intro music plays) (Maniac Mode)

_Nami: _

_We are what we were made to be, _

_Fulfillments of your wildest dreams _

_Weird drawings that can speak and say _

_What we do is what you wish to do   
_

_Zoro: _

_We are an artist's symphony   
We do the things you wanna see   
Page by page, we've got it made _

_Nami: _

_Our crew is unbelievable _

_They do the unpredictable  
Cool drawings that can speak and say _

_What we do is what you wish to do _

_Zoro:_

_It's all a story told with art  
And we're just actors in our parts  
Page by page, we've got it made  
One by one, we're makin' it fun_

Both:

_We are the Manga Heroes - oh-oh-oh  
We are the ones who're gonna last forever  
We came out of Eiichero's mind - oh-oh-oh  
And walked out on a piece of paper_

Here comes Kuro man, felinophobian

_Welcome to the Grand Line party  
Here comes Buggy man, from never-never land  
Welcome to the Grand Line party_

Nami:

_We ate fruits and learned how to fight  
Lift buildings up to shoulder height  
It's true, but just remember that  
What we do is what you just can't do_

Zoro:

_Our world is full of craziness  
With freaks and marines chasing us  
Page by page, we've got it made  
One by one, we're makin' it fun_

We are the Manga Heroes - oh-oh-oh  
We are the ones who're gonna last forever  
We came out of Eiichero's mind - oh-oh-oh  
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Lucci man, Felinophobian  
Welcome to the toon town party  
Here comes Eneru man, down from Skypaeia land  
Welcome to the toon town party

Nami:

_Our story just will never end  
Don't get too caught up in us, friend_

_There's much more to life, and remember that  
What we do is what you just can't do_

Both:

_What we do is what you just can't do  
What we do is what you just can't do  
What we do is what you just can't do  
What we do is what you just can't do_

We are the Manga Heroes - oh-oh-oh  
We are the ones who're gonna last forever  
We came out of Eiichero's mind - oh-oh-oh  
And walked out on a piece of paper

There's still more to come  
And everyone will be  
Welcomed at the  
Grand Line Party

End.

Final score:

Gaara of the funk: Usopp:

Marry me: 25 Marry me: 23

Perfect: 127 Perfect: 128

Great: 10 Great: 10

Good: 2 Good: 6

Ok: 0 Ok: 7

Early/late: 10 Early/late: 4

Miss: 7 Miss: 3  
Total: 1,989,240 1,989, 980

Gaara: Too…. intense…… (faints)

Usopp: YEAH!! That's what… you… (faints)

(Crowd goes wild)

Zoro: So wait…. Who won here?

"I think we did…" mused Franky.

Sanji: Does this mean we had a good first concert?

Brook: Well, they're all leaving, chanting our name…

Sanji: What the crap? We havn't even played a real song…

Zoro: Let it go, man, it's this kind of thing that breeds success.

Nami: Did you just call him 'man?'

Zoro: AGH! I'm starting to be friendly! (Flees)

Brook: You know, that joke would be a lot funnier if you could _see_ him running…

"What do you want us to do, post this on You Tube?" Said Franky.

Brook: Ah. Touché.

Authors end note: Yup. This is the stuff that goes on in my head on a daily basis. Scary huh? Can you forgive me for using Gaara of the funk? The idea wouldn't let me go. I had to do it, so I could go to sleep. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Oh wait… the clock says 12:02, I'm late. Ah well.


	15. Butterfly

OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH! A _NORMAL_ DISCLAIMER!! : I don't own One Piece or any song parodied in this fic.

In a studio on the Thousand Suns, long ignored by the eyes of the world, five Straw Hats known as Horrific Z practice their latest.

Usopp: _Ooh, you make me wanna run, wanna run,_

_Even then I think your FINE, PERONA!_

_Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind,_

_I'd gladly give it up, for a touch, of another kind_

All: _MY, MY, MY, MY, AH, WOO!_

Sanji suddenly stops playing, and the others follow suit, wondering what could have caused it.

Sanji: Hey! Look! The red light's back on!

Usopp: _IT IS?!_ (Turns red)

"Don't worry about it" said Franky, a bit upset the Amaxing hadn't forgotten about the running joke after an absence of nearly seven months, "I'm sure no one heard any of that."

Usopp: Phew…That's a relief.

Brook: Yeah! Otherwise you'd be a laughing stock in front of the EYES of the world! YO HO HO!

Zoro: (sighs) Am I the only one with a work ethic here? If the red light came on, that means someone had to have made a request.

Sanji: For once, I agree. Let's see what we've got here… we've got a request from Xstarlight-dragonX for a parody of 'Butterfly' by Smile D.K. Alright Usopp, get to work!

Usopp: (Silent for a minute). Erm… well, you see, it's been so long… I'm not sure if I can just…

Zoro: Oh brother. Are you serious? You used to be able to write a parody in under five minutes!

Usopp: I know, I know! But it's like a muscle… if you don't use it; it eventually turns into fat.

"You know that _isn't_ actually true, right?" said Franky.

Sanji: How could _you_, of all people, know that? The only one _less_ qualified to make that statement that I can think of is Brook…

Brook: It's true. Just ask any BODY! YO HO HO! (Clears throat, chuckles slightly). I see there's a line here in this song that's repeated at least a million times. Perhaps we could start with that and work our way from there?

Zoro: (looks through lyrics) 'Ai, ai, ai, I'm your little butterfly?'

Brook: (nods) Exactly.

Usopp: (thinks for a minute) We could try… "ee, ee, ee, I just love the open sea?"

"That's a good one" Franky gave him, "but it isn't really _funny…_"

Brook: We could have Luffy sing it! And he could go: "oo, oo, oo, I wish I could eat Momoo!"

Sanji: OR! (Excitedly) We could raise the rating of the story up to 'M' and have _me_ sing, "uh, uh, unh, I want to give Nami…"

Usopp: OBJECTION! We are _not_ crossing the line into adult lyrics!

"That will make us seem even cheaper and sleazier than we _already_ do!" scolded Franky.

Brook: And that! Would! Be! A! CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!! YO HO NOOOOO!

Zoro: (groans) Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.

The other four stop fighting and look at Zoro. Usopp's eyes widen. There is a sudden clatter as instruments are grabbed, and before Zoro even knows what is going on…

Sanji: _Really loooong day._

(Music plays)

* * *

Cut Fifteen: Long day  
Parody of: Butterfly, by Smile D.K.  
Requested by: Xstarlight-dragonX

All: _OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__Really long day._

Zoro: _The marines are right behind  
__It's not even ten 'til nine.  
__What can I say? It's gonna be a long day._

_The rain is pouring down  
__Chopper is about to drown  
__Even though he's saved, it's still a long day_

All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day  
_Zoro: _I'm lost in the woods, and my swords got thrown away.  
_All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day  
_Sanji: _I've run out of meat, and Luffy won't go away._

Zoro: _Sanji won't attack that girl  
__Trying to destroy the world  
__What can I say? It's gonna be a long day_

_Now they're both attacking me  
__Putting me through misery  
__I'd smash them both, but hey; it's still a long day._

All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Usopp: _That guy's freaking huge, there's no room to run away  
_All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Franky: _My tank's running low, and all we have is parfait._

_OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__Really long day._

_OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__Really long day._

Epic Usopp Dance Break

All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Brook: _Some guy tried to put me in a Halloween display.  
_All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Chopper: Rap Master MD in the house! Everybody say HEY!

All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Luffy: I WANT MY MEAT! GIVE IT TO ME SANJI-AY!  
All: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
_Nami: You guys spent all our money, so I think I'll kill you, eh?

_OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__Really long day._

_OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__OYEE, OYEE VEY  
__Really long day._

Luffy, and Nami, actually _meaning_ the lyrics they said, being to attack Horrific Z, Chopper tries to steal the show, and Robin watches, amused and slightly terrified.

Robin: _Oh-oy vey, it's gonna be a long day.  
__Sometimes I truly think I'm the only that's sane._

_**End.**_

A general notice from Horrific Z:

Yeah, so we're back.

From outer space.

Don't you walk in here with a sad look upon your face!

We're gonna change your favorite songs

We're gonna sing 'em all off key.

And if you think for _just one second_

'Gosh man, that'll bother me'

Then you can GO!

WALK OUT THE DOOR!

We don't need you here.

_We don't serve your kind no more!_

For those who stayed, we ask a single thing of you.

Oh please review.

Oh please revieeeeeew.

Aaaaaaaas long as there's still interest, we will sing these songs for you.

I don't own anything, just thought I'd say that too

So please review.

So please revieeeeew!

WHOOOOOOOOOOAOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

And now that we've butchered 'I will survive' don't be ashamaed to have us butcher anything else.


End file.
